I'd Like to be a Giant

I'd Like to be a Giant

By Tracy Farr

I'd like to be a giant,
But I think I'm not compliant
With the regulations that require
You be three stories tall.

That's 50 feet, to say the least,
And then you must have hairy feet
And smell like you have never heard
Of taking baths at all.

A giant eats a bunch of things,
But mostly bones and things with wings
And belches so profusely that
You'd say he was a jerk.

And for desert he sucks on rocks
And cactus plants, I kid you not,
With slurping sounds that some do say
Can drive a man beserk.

A giant would be nice to be.

Too bad I'm only five foot three.