You should sit around and do absolutely nothing

People like Oprah are always busy, always doing something, always in the middle of whatever's going on because that's what they do -- and to NOT do it would mean the end of civilization as they know it. To them, doing absolutely nothing is a fate worse than death.

Well, I've done absolutely nothing many times, and I kind of like it.

It's not that hard to do absolutely nothing. You just get out of bed, fix yourself a huge cup of coffee (which sounds like you're doing something, but isn't), then find a comfy place to relax (a couch or wing-back chair would do fine) and concentrate! Yes, to do absolutely nothing requires concentration because what you'll WANT to do is think about what you SHOULD be doing -- and we can't have any of that!

You've got to forget about mowing the yard, forget about paying the bills, forget about calling your parents so they'll know you're still alive, and forget about the sorry shape of our economy.

You've got to forget about the company downsizing you right out of your job, forget about that reunion you went to and how good Marylou looks after all these years, and forget about wishing you'd dated HER in high school instead of Imagene (believe me, just forget it right now!)

You've got to forget about digital TV, forget about iPhones, forget Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and about all those other things that drive you absolutely bonkers, but you put up with them because "that's progress."

All you need to do is sit there, forget, and be happy in your nothing-ness. A ham and turkey sandwich with Pepper Jack cheese on wheat, lightly toasted, with the works, couldn't hurt, either.

I bet you didn't know that doing absolutely nothing was hard work. Well, it is. It's not for wimps. But with a little practice and a little self-determination, I know you can do it! And you'll enjoy it.

Now, jump to it! Get in that chair. Raise those feet! Let those eyelids droop! And concentrate!

Are you ready to Live Without Oprah?