My view on the news may need adjusting

I think I need to get my eyes checked because I would have sworn I just read a headline that said, "First family to vacation on Mars."

On second look, they're going to Maine. But now I'm curious to know how many other news items I've misread recently, misread and didn't catch that I've misread them, thinking, "That sounds a little strange, but it must be true -- I guess."

For instance:

"Red Hot Chili Peppers to be stored in cool Arctic doomsday vault." Now, I don't know much about the group's music, but to lock them away in an Arctic vault seems a bit overkill, if you ask me.

"Facebook installs 'eject button' for children." Now THAT I could use. You don't know how many times I've wanted on the computer (we've only got one), but some "child" is on Facebook playing silly games. Yep, I could use an eject button. What? Oh, it's a "panic button" to report weird adult behavior. Sorry.

"U.N. and North Korea to meet on sinking warship." Great idea! Get something accomplished before ship plunges to the bottom of the ocean and drowns everybody on board. Talk about a drop-dead deadline. But taking a second glance (U.S. and North Korea to meet on warship sinking), I discovered that I might be a bit dyslectic. Bummer.

"Australia says Google guilty of privacy beaches." I'm sorry, but if Google is wealthy enough to own its own beaches, why can't they make them private? And what business is it of Australia? They have enough beachfront property to go around, don't they? Hmmmmm....maybe it said "privacy breaches." I'll re-read that one again.


Yes, it's very possible I need to have my vision checked.